Today I called the doctor's office to schedule the dreaded "yearly exam" that all women love to hate. Yup! That one girls! Cold @ss Duckbills and all.
I have been meaning to make this appointment for some time now but keep putting it off because I hate ALL doctor's appointments. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way but I can tell you that my first "female" visit was with an old man and conducted during "that time". Pretty traumatizing for a 16 year old. Ever since then, I have hated going to the doctor and while I was pregnant, you get used to the monthly, then bi-weekly, then weekly onslaught of uncomfortable visits to the point where it's no longer a big deal. I've heard from most women that once you go through child birth, the rest of these visits are nothing and all modesty is lost. I beg to differ. I did get used to the visits as I said before, but now that my kids are 8 and almost 4, I am right back to hating these visits.
It's actually been almost two years since this visit and part of the reason for that is because at the last visit, we found a lump in my left breast and I had to have it checked out. It was staying sore, (the fact that two little boys love to run and head butt me on a regular basis only made this worse) so we decided to go ahead and remove the "mass". It was biopsied and as it turns out, not cancerous, THANK YOU GOD! :o)
Now, almost two years later, that same breast is staying sore and is more tender during "that time" so I want to get it checked out.
I also scheduled this visit because I believe that my hormones are out of whack again. I say again because, before I got pregnant with the twins, I had a hormone imbalance and had to take medicine to return my progesterone to a normal level. The reasons I believe that I am out of whack again are as follows:
1. I am tired all of the time.
2. I am easy to anger.
3. If I'm not angry, I'm on the verge of tears.
3.5 I go from really happy to really sad in a millisecond.
4. Normally, I am not overly sensitive. My feelings get hurt, I deal with it, I get over it quickly.
5. Recently, I have had several episodes where I have had my feelings hurt when it was PERFECTLY CLEAR that I was being teased and should not be taking offense. I believe myself to have a pretty good sense of humor and can normally laugh at myself. I knew I was being teased and could not stop being "bitchy". I had to walk away before I could let it go and when I did, I had to cry about it and call my best friend. Thank you again Billie. I don't know what I would do without a friend who's been through some of this $hit too and is my voice of reason!
6. I am having a really hard time keeping my patience with the kids. I know that they are just kids, being kids, but it doesn't seem to matter.
7. I am easily distracted and I'm having a difficult time staying on task.
8. I am constantly worried that someone is mad at me. I worry that I haven't had as many comments on my blogs, I worry that my boss is on the verge of telling me to stick it even though he tells me almost daily he doesn't know what he would do without me. I worry that I'm driving Mike crazy and he will finally get fed up and leave me even though I know beyond a doubt that he loves me madly. I worry that I am ruining my kids and they will need therapy for the rest of their life once they reach adulthood.
My appointment is scheduled for next Monday at 10 a.m. I will post again and let everyone know if the tenderness is another lump forming, whether or not the Dr. thinks I'm out of whack again and any other findings of interest after my appointment.