Whew. Glad this days almost over!

Today was a crummy day. It was over cast and it rained all day, not the drops of rain, but that nasty sh!t that just makes everything wet and an umbrella is useless against.

We're crazy busy at work right now too. I'm not complaining, because, you know, it pays the bills, but holy cow. I thought things were supposed to slow down a little around the holidays. So...between all the things that I need to get done at work and all the things (including Christmas shopping) I need to get done at home, it's just a wonderfully stressful life. "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus."

Isn't it amazing that I went my entire childhood without seeing the classic Christmas movie It's a Wonderful Life? I just watched it for the very first time last year by looking it up on You.Tube and watching it in 13 "episodes". All because my boss, (who I can't say enough nice things about, He's wonderful and I throw this in here because Thanksgiving was just a few days ago and along with my family he's one of the many things I'm so very thankful for.) walked into the office around this time last year and said "Good morning you wonderful old Building & Loan" and I had no clue what he was talking about and the conversation went a little like this.

Mickey: "Good morning you wonderful old Building & Loan!!!"

Me: "Ummm... Good morning???"

Mickey: (with a HUGE grin on his face) "You know, from It's a Wonderful Life!?!"

Me: (with a confused expression) "Oh...I see."

Mickey: "What? You've never seen that movie?"

Me: "Ummm. No. I guess not. Is that the one that talks about the "For every bell that rings, and angel gets it's wings" one?"

Mickey: "Yeah!!! That's the one!"

Me: "Yeah, I've never seen that one. We always watch A Christmas Story. You know, "You'll shoot your eye out".

Mickey: "Yeah, I know that one. I can't believe you've never seen It's a Wonderful Life. That's your "assignment". Don't come back to work until you've seen that movie. It's a requirement for this job."

Of course at this point I'd only been working for him for 2 1/2 months, and I knew he was kidding about the "assignment" thing, but I like to make the boss happy, so I came home and looked it up on You.Tube and watched it. While I didn't think it was as good as Miracle on 34th Street. I did like it, and it was pretty good.

So, retelling that little story just made my day a little better. I guess I'm just really stressed right now. There is just so much to do to get ready for Christmas and it's a sprint to the finish and I love to see my kids happy on Christmas day and then all that excitement spills out and we're left with the after Christmas blahs until the weather breaks in the spring. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer.

The boys have their Christmas program coming up this weekend. They are having a pitch in dinner at the church where the preschool is located and the children of Promise Academy are going to provide the after dinner entertainment. I really can't wait. I know that they will be so cute! They have been singing little bits and pieces of their songs while we ride in the car or when they are playing in the living room. It's adorable!

Eden's program will be at school next week. She seems to really enjoy choir and singing. I used to love choir too. I hope that once she gets a little older she will want to be in choir as one of her elective corses. She really has a pretty voice and I would love to see her "concerts". She's also quite the performer. A few years ago we did a demo for TKD and she stood in front of no less than 100 people and told them what Tae Kwon Do means. Loud and clear and didn't miss a beat! I always had terrible stage fright. I'd get nervous and sweaty and butterflies in my stomach.

Well. I guess I've rambled long enough. Here's hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

Here's a picture of my monkeys right after their haircut a few weeks ago.

Insulin Resistance

So...for those of you who are following my blog, I wanted to post an update on a previous post where I let everyone know that I felt like things were getting a little out of hand and life just seemed way more stressful than usual.

I received a call from the Dr.'s office mid week last week telling me that at my follow up appointment, when I had them redo my blood work to test my blood glucose levels, the test has come back that I have a condition called insulin resistance. My body produces higher levels of insulin because it is not properly using the insulin that it produces. Many patients who have it, have a combination of the following: they have a family history of high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, (which I had a mild case of with the twins) family history of type 2 diabetes, and are over weight. I fit into all of these categories. Some of the symptoms are a discoloration in the "creases of skin" such as the arm pit and neck. I haven't noticed any discoloration around my neck, but have in the arm pit and skin tags. I noticed I started getting these several years ago. Just small "tags" of skin that develop and protrude from the surface of the skin.

When I spoke with the nurse, she explained to me that Insulin Resistance can affect many areas of my life, several that you wouldn't think of, and that don't really make a lot of sense. Mood, menstrual cycle, weight gain, stress levels, hormone levels, ...... the list goes on and on. So... the Dr. has prescribed glucophage, it is a medication developed to help the body properly process the insulin that is produced by the body, or converted to insulin from the foods that we eat.

When I picked up the prescription tonight, the pharmacist told me that I should expect "dramatic" weight loss. I'm trying to keep my hopes to a minimum on this little tidbit of information. Also, she asked me to take a "gentle" smell of the bottle. These pills stink to high heaven. I MEAN THEY REEK!!! Michael says they smell like the penguin exhibit at the zoo. Thank you sweetheart for that mental picture. The last time I had to take a pill that smelled this bad, it also tasted like a tin can. So, from previous experience, I have found that Sunny D is the only beverage that I can use to take these gag inducing prescriptions that tastes good and masks the taste so that I can get them down.

I know that this is a lot of personal information, but, I wanted to keep everyone posted and let you guys know that I am not crazy, which was my own self diagnosis a few weeks ago, I am just a little imbalanced right now and the Dr. is staying on top of my condition and is also following up with me on a regular basis to see if an anti-depressant is needed to help me feel more like myself and less like the crazed lunatic that yelled at my boss even when I knew that he was only teasing me and felt like I was constantly yelling at my entire family all of the time, even though I really wasn't.

I love you all, and I thank you all for being so supportive. Especially Michael who has put up with my crazy behaviour through thick and thin and still loves me anyway, and Billie who lets me call her every single day and vent about the crazy clients at work and the general everyday nonsense of life and never judges me and always makes me feel better just for hearing her voice.

I've decided it's time!

Today I called the doctor's office to schedule the dreaded "yearly exam" that all women love to hate. Yup! That one girls! Cold @ss Duckbills and all.

I have been meaning to make this appointment for some time now but keep putting it off because I hate ALL doctor's appointments. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way but I can tell you that my first "female" visit was with an old man and conducted during "that time". Pretty traumatizing for a 16 year old. Ever since then, I have hated going to the doctor and while I was pregnant, you get used to the monthly, then bi-weekly, then weekly onslaught of uncomfortable visits to the point where it's no longer a big deal. I've heard from most women that once you go through child birth, the rest of these visits are nothing and all modesty is lost. I beg to differ. I did get used to the visits as I said before, but now that my kids are 8 and almost 4, I am right back to hating these visits.

It's actually been almost two years since this visit and part of the reason for that is because at the last visit, we found a lump in my left breast and I had to have it checked out. It was staying sore, (the fact that two little boys love to run and head butt me on a regular basis only made this worse) so we decided to go ahead and remove the "mass". It was biopsied and as it turns out, not cancerous, THANK YOU GOD! :o)

Now, almost two years later, that same breast is staying sore and is more tender during "that time" so I want to get it checked out.

I also scheduled this visit because I believe that my hormones are out of whack again. I say again because, before I got pregnant with the twins, I had a hormone imbalance and had to take medicine to return my progesterone to a normal level. The reasons I believe that I am out of whack again are as follows:

1. I am tired all of the time.
2. I am easy to anger.
3. If I'm not angry, I'm on the verge of tears.
3.5 I go from really happy to really sad in a millisecond.
4. Normally, I am not overly sensitive. My feelings get hurt, I deal with it, I get over it quickly.
5. Recently, I have had several episodes where I have had my feelings hurt when it was PERFECTLY CLEAR that I was being teased and should not be taking offense. I believe myself to have a pretty good sense of humor and can normally laugh at myself. I knew I was being teased and could not stop being "bitchy". I had to walk away before I could let it go and when I did, I had to cry about it and call my best friend. Thank you again Billie. I don't know what I would do without a friend who's been through some of this $hit too and is my voice of reason!
6. I am having a really hard time keeping my patience with the kids. I know that they are just kids, being kids, but it doesn't seem to matter.
7. I am easily distracted and I'm having a difficult time staying on task.
8. I am constantly worried that someone is mad at me. I worry that I haven't had as many comments on my blogs, I worry that my boss is on the verge of telling me to stick it even though he tells me almost daily he doesn't know what he would do without me. I worry that I'm driving Mike crazy and he will finally get fed up and leave me even though I know beyond a doubt that he loves me madly. I worry that I am ruining my kids and they will need therapy for the rest of their life once they reach adulthood.

My appointment is scheduled for next Monday at 10 a.m. I will post again and let everyone know if the tenderness is another lump forming, whether or not the Dr. thinks I'm out of whack again and any other findings of interest after my appointment.