Today I called the doctor's office to schedule the dreaded "yearly exam" that all women love to hate. Yup! That one girls! Cold @ss Duckbills and all.
I have been meaning to make this appointment for some time now but keep putting it off because I hate ALL doctor's appointments. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way but I can tell you that my first "female" visit was with an old man and conducted during "that time". Pretty traumatizing for a 16 year old. Ever since then, I have hated going to the doctor and while I was pregnant, you get used to the monthly, then bi-weekly, then weekly onslaught of uncomfortable visits to the point where it's no longer a big deal. I've heard from most women that once you go through child birth, the rest of these visits are nothing and all modesty is lost. I beg to differ. I did get used to the visits as I said before, but now that my kids are 8 and almost 4, I am right back to hating these visits.
It's actually been almost two years since this visit and part of the reason for that is because at the last visit, we found a lump in my left breast and I had to have it checked out. It was staying sore, (the fact that two little boys love to run and head butt me on a regular basis only made this worse) so we decided to go ahead and remove the "mass". It was biopsied and as it turns out, not cancerous, THANK YOU GOD! :o)
Now, almost two years later, that same breast is staying sore and is more tender during "that time" so I want to get it checked out.
I also scheduled this visit because I believe that my hormones are out of whack again. I say again because, before I got pregnant with the twins, I had a hormone imbalance and had to take medicine to return my progesterone to a normal level. The reasons I believe that I am out of whack again are as follows:
1. I am tired all of the time.
2. I am easy to anger.
3. If I'm not angry, I'm on the verge of tears.
3.5 I go from really happy to really sad in a millisecond.
4. Normally, I am not overly sensitive. My feelings get hurt, I deal with it, I get over it quickly.
5. Recently, I have had several episodes where I have had my feelings hurt when it was PERFECTLY CLEAR that I was being teased and should not be taking offense. I believe myself to have a pretty good sense of humor and can normally laugh at myself. I knew I was being teased and could not stop being "bitchy". I had to walk away before I could let it go and when I did, I had to cry about it and call my best friend. Thank you again Billie. I don't know what I would do without a friend who's been through some of this $hit too and is my voice of reason!
6. I am having a really hard time keeping my patience with the kids. I know that they are just kids, being kids, but it doesn't seem to matter.
7. I am easily distracted and I'm having a difficult time staying on task.
8. I am constantly worried that someone is mad at me. I worry that I haven't had as many comments on my blogs, I worry that my boss is on the verge of telling me to stick it even though he tells me almost daily he doesn't know what he would do without me. I worry that I'm driving Mike crazy and he will finally get fed up and leave me even though I know beyond a doubt that he loves me madly. I worry that I am ruining my kids and they will need therapy for the rest of their life once they reach adulthood.
My appointment is scheduled for next Monday at 10 a.m. I will post again and let everyone know if the tenderness is another lump forming, whether or not the Dr. thinks I'm out of whack again and any other findings of interest after my appointment.
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label babies. Show all posts
Monday, June 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Eden Nicole
A bit ago I posted a blog with pictures of the twins. I distinctly remember saying I would need to do a blog about Eden. So, here it is!
On February 6, 2001 I went to the OB's office for my weekly check and while I was there mom and I asked her how big she thought the baby would be, she measured my belly and asked me what size shoe I wear. I know this seems like a totally irrelevant question, but I want all you mommies to think about this one. I told her I wear between a 7 and 7 1/2 and she told me the baby would be within a pound of that, plus or minus. She then sent me to the hospital (which is just across the street from her office) and had them monitor me. That was around 11 am on the 6th. They started me on pitocin at about 5:30 p.m. and I told Dr. Borden that I would see her later. She was going to be able to get some sleep after the baby was born. She just gave me that "you're going to be disappointed, but I hope you're right" look and told me that if I delivered before noon on Wednesday that she would be there to deliver the baby. (During the ultrasound, I only had one with Eden, she sat with her legs crossed the whole time and when we started recording, she decided to take a nap so we didn't know the sex for sure until she was born. I did have the feeling that it was a girl from about 20 weeks on though) They called Dr. Borden around 11:30 p.m. and Eden was born at 12:03 a.m. at 21 1/2 inches long and 8 lbs, 3 oz. (Remember what I said about my shoe size? Weird huh?) She was so beautiful from the very beginning. Perfect complexion, all ten fingers and toes and a great set of pipes for letting us know that she was hungry. I nursed her almost immediately and she latched right on, so it was a huge disappointment the next day when I couldn't get her to do it for anything. Thank God for lactation consultants. She came right in, grabbed Eden's little head and my breast and popped it right in, from that point on we had very little trouble getting the job done! 
I love this picture of us. It's our first family picture and Michael was in awe of that tiny bundle, he refused to look away from her for this picture, even when my mom begged. I love it even if I do look like a swollen whale!
This was her first Derby hat!
Eden had colic for about 6 weeks, however, we discovered that if we got her to sleep before 9:30 she slept right through the "colic hours". Every night for 4 weeks she would cry incessantly for 3 hours from Midnight to 3 a.m. Nothing helped, not rocking, walking, bouncing, swinging, not white noise, NOTHING would soothe her. I know now that her having colic was preparing me for life with twin boys. After the colic stage, she was the best baby. Always smiling and giggling and loved to play. The only complaint would be that she wanted to be constantly entertained, and really, what kind of complaint is that? I miss those days where I was her entire world and her happiness in life revolved around me and her daddy, and boy does her daddy adore her!
This is Christmas of 02 which makes her almost 3. Look how curly her hair is. It was so cute! Her hair has a few small curls left at her temple and the base of her neck when it's humid and about to rain, but that's all that's left of all this curl.
This is one of my favorite pictures of me and Eden together.
Before we washed her hair and after we washed it. It was so long and you couldn't even tell.
I just like this one. She looks so sweet. Her pillow is in our bed because, until the "twin belly" got to big to manage while laying down, Eden slept between us. That was a huge transition for all of us, but I couldn't handle that bony little butt floppin' over in the middle of the night and hitting my belly. It hurt like crazy!
All decked out in Tinkerbell. Waiting for daddy to get home so we can trick or treat.
I don't have any really good pictures of my baby belly with Eden. I'm not sure why it never occurred to me to make sure that I had some. I see a lot of studios doing "maternity" shots these days and really wish that I had done that in the last trimester of both pregnancies, but... you can't turn back time and as much as I LOVE being pregnant,(yes, I really did say LOVE in big capitol letters) I don't think Mike is ready for another baby and truthfully, I don't think I am either. Three is good. (Not that I would be devastated by another pregnancy. I would love that baby just as much as the other three.) Here is about the best picture I have of the "Eden" belly. This is about 5 weeks before Eden was born.
On February 6, 2001 I went to the OB's office for my weekly check and while I was there mom and I asked her how big she thought the baby would be, she measured my belly and asked me what size shoe I wear. I know this seems like a totally irrelevant question, but I want all you mommies to think about this one. I told her I wear between a 7 and 7 1/2 and she told me the baby would be within a pound of that, plus or minus. She then sent me to the hospital (which is just across the street from her office) and had them monitor me. That was around 11 am on the 6th. They started me on pitocin at about 5:30 p.m. and I told Dr. Borden that I would see her later. She was going to be able to get some sleep after the baby was born. She just gave me that "you're going to be disappointed, but I hope you're right" look and told me that if I delivered before noon on Wednesday that she would be there to deliver the baby. (During the ultrasound, I only had one with Eden, she sat with her legs crossed the whole time and when we started recording, she decided to take a nap so we didn't know the sex for sure until she was born. I did have the feeling that it was a girl from about 20 weeks on though) They called Dr. Borden around 11:30 p.m. and Eden was born at 12:03 a.m. at 21 1/2 inches long and 8 lbs, 3 oz. (Remember what I said about my shoe size? Weird huh?) She was so beautiful from the very beginning. Perfect complexion, all ten fingers and toes and a great set of pipes for letting us know that she was hungry. I nursed her almost immediately and she latched right on, so it was a huge disappointment the next day when I couldn't get her to do it for anything. Thank God for lactation consultants. She came right in, grabbed Eden's little head and my breast and popped it right in, from that point on we had very little trouble getting the job done! I love this picture of us. It's our first family picture and Michael was in awe of that tiny bundle, he refused to look away from her for this picture, even when my mom begged. I love it even if I do look like a swollen whale!Eden Nicole. I guess I should go on and mention that Eden's name did not come from the bible even if it seems like it. When I was a teen, mom loved her soaps and Days of Our Lives was her favorite. I developed a love for Santa Barbara. It didn't run for very long, but I remember it well and the most beautiful people on that show were Eden and Cruz Castille. That is where Eden's name came from and I told my two best friends in high school, "When I have my kids, my little girl's name will be Eden Nicole and my little boys name will be Tyler" I didn't have a middle name picked out yet. As everyone who knows me knows, I got both and a little surprise with the boys which turned out to be called Jacob.
This was her first Derby hat!Eden had colic for about 6 weeks, however, we discovered that if we got her to sleep before 9:30 she slept right through the "colic hours". Every night for 4 weeks she would cry incessantly for 3 hours from Midnight to 3 a.m. Nothing helped, not rocking, walking, bouncing, swinging, not white noise, NOTHING would soothe her. I know now that her having colic was preparing me for life with twin boys. After the colic stage, she was the best baby. Always smiling and giggling and loved to play. The only complaint would be that she wanted to be constantly entertained, and really, what kind of complaint is that? I miss those days where I was her entire world and her happiness in life revolved around me and her daddy, and boy does her daddy adore her!
This is Christmas of 02 which makes her almost 3. Look how curly her hair is. It was so cute! Her hair has a few small curls left at her temple and the base of her neck when it's humid and about to rain, but that's all that's left of all this curl.
This is one of my favorite pictures of me and Eden together.Before we washed her hair and after we washed it. It was so long and you couldn't even tell.
I just like this one. She looks so sweet. Her pillow is in our bed because, until the "twin belly" got to big to manage while laying down, Eden slept between us. That was a huge transition for all of us, but I couldn't handle that bony little butt floppin' over in the middle of the night and hitting my belly. It hurt like crazy!
All decked out in Tinkerbell. Waiting for daddy to get home so we can trick or treat.Christmas the year before the twins came. Look how beautiful her hair is. It's still shiny and think and pretty, but I miss the curls and so does she.
Her fourth birthday, the last before her whole world changed. She was the center of our universe. We revolved around her and I'm sorry to say that once the twins came, she couldn't be that center anymore and it was a hard adjustment for her and for us. I spent a lot of time feeling so guilty. I remember having her come in and sit next to me, just so that I could see her and spend a little time with her. The twins still require a huge amount of my attention because they both have to be watched constantly but I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel and I do try to take time to just have a Eden and Mom day when we can carve out the time. It's been a while and we are definitely due, but the boys are getting older and they are playing better and getting into things less often so it's becoming easier to divide my time more equally between all three kids. We're not completely there yet, but I'm hoping that once the boys start pre-school in the fall, we will be ready to handle a more even balance.
I took this last picture of Eden today. She's still the prettiest little girl I know, and I know that I am biased because I'm her mom, but we still have perfect strangers come up to us all the time to tell us how pretty she is. I couldn't agree more!
To my beautiful baby girl. I love you so much. I wouldn't trade you for the world, you are sweet and sassy and sometimes a pain in the butt but I love you and I love who you are and the young lady you are becoming. You are a great big sister and I know that your brothers are a huge pain in your behind, but they love you and everyday I see you becoming the best big sister two little boys could have! :o* (kisses)
Editor's note: I noticed this morning that soon, my little girl won't be a little girl for much longer. The shirt she had on was a little to tight and mom's notice things. :o)
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